pans and the tops spring back when touched with your finger. Allow to stand in pans for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a rack to cool. While the cakes are cooling, prepare the filling and frosting. To make the filling, heat the milk and dates in the top of a double boiler over hot water until the milk is scalded. Beat the egg, then add the sugar, flour, and salt; beat again. Add 1/2 cup of the hot milk mixture to the egg mixture, then stir back into the pan and cook for 3 minutes, until thick, stirring with a rubber spatula. Let cool. Add the nuts, and vanilla. Refrigerate for 1-1/2 hours before filling the cake. To make the frosting, combine all the ingredients in a large mixer bowl. Beat on high speed for 1 minute, or until the frosting is light and creamy. To assemble, place 1 cake layer on a large plate and cover to within 1/4 inch of the edge with half the chilled filling. Top with another cake layer and the remaining filling mixture. Finish with the last cake layer. Frost the sides and top of the cake with the fudge frosting forming swirls on the top with a knife. Refrigerate, but bring to room temperature before serving.