Halloween Chili

Ingredients

1 1/4 pounds goblin gizzards
1 fat
1 eye of cyclops
15 oz soft shelled beetles
28 blood of bat
8 juice
1/8 teaspoon pureed wasp
1/4 teaspoon common weed
1 dash redtailed hawk toenails
2 teaspoons sumac blossom
1 teaspoon hemlock
1/2 cup grubs
1 tablespoon eye of newt
1 tablespoon maggots
1 water from a stagnant pond

Instructions

Substitutions are in parenthesis. Best made during the last phase of the moon, if that is not possible, just do the best you can in a softly lighted kitchen after dark. Brown the gizzards in an iron cauldron over a fire made from the siding off of a haunted house, add chopped eye of cyclops and simmer until the pieces of eye become translucent again, add blood of bat, and soft shelled beetles, bring to a slow bubbling boil. At this time, add the common weed, maggots, toenails, sumac, grubs, hemlock, eye of newt and the pureed wasp. As it cooks you may want to adjust the consistency with pond water. You can tell it is done when the eye of newt swells and the vertical tan colored 'cats eye' appears on one side.