Let ice cream sit at room temperature until it is easy to scoop.
Spoon ice cream into glasses until it is about halfway full. Pour or squeeze about 3 tablespoons chocolate syrup into each glass.
Slowly fill almost to the top with club soda and stir well with a spoon. Serve with a straw and tall spoon for excavating those luscious brown lumps.
Serves 4 sewage slurpers.
Sicko serving suggestion: To make this slop especially disgusting, plop an unwrapped tootsie roll into each glass.